While it is certainly true that a hopeless or pessimistic outlook on life, repressed psychological conflicts and tensions do result in organic pathology, and that positive imaging helps in restoring as well as maintaining health, it is equally true that no one alive can wholly avoid tension, stress, conflict, repressions, depression and disappointment. Indeed, psychological complexes and crises are the building stones of personality. Frustration and repression are the unavoidable conditions of ego-building no less than approval, success, satisfaction and joy. The capacity to become ill seems to be built into the ground plan of human nature regardless of mental efforts to the contrary.Morever, we are not merely free-floating minds but minds embodied. A genuinely holistic viewpoint cannot but see the body as the visibility of the mind and the mind as the expression of the particular individual self’s way of embodiment. Just as our psyches are open to and indeed participate in the energy patterns that surround us, so our bodies interact with substance and are parts of earth processes and nature. And nature is not only kind and life-supporting; it is also destructive and terrible. Natural living does not guarantee health. Indeed, a perfectly natural way of living would amount to a return to savagery. Primitive man also knew illness. Civilization undoubtedly produces its own pathology but natural primitivism does also. Whichever way we turn we cannot avoid crisis, pain and disease. The tendency to illness appears to be an aspect of the earth dynamic, as is healing. They are the two sides of the same coin.
(Strangely, I picked this book up on my birthday Wednesday and thought about it most of my drive home on Friday.)

While it is certainly true that a hopeless or pessimistic outlook on life, repressed psychological conflicts and tensions do result in organic pathology, and that positive imaging helps in restoring as well as maintaining health, it is equally true that no one alive can wholly avoid tension, stress, conflict, repressions, depression and disappointment. Indeed, psychological complexes and crises are the building stones of personality. Frustration and repression are the unavoidable conditions of ego-building no less than approval, success, satisfaction and joy. The capacity to become ill seems to be built into the ground plan of human nature regardless of mental efforts to the contrary.

Morever, we are not merely free-floating minds but minds embodied. A genuinely holistic viewpoint cannot but see the body as the visibility of the mind and the mind as the expression of the particular individual self’s way of embodiment. Just as our psyches are open to and indeed participate in the energy patterns that surround us, so our bodies interact with substance and are parts of earth processes and nature. And nature is not only kind and life-supporting; it is also destructive and terrible. Natural living does not guarantee health. Indeed, a perfectly natural way of living would amount to a return to savagery. Primitive man also knew illness. Civilization undoubtedly produces its own pathology but natural primitivism does also. Whichever way we turn we cannot avoid crisis, pain and disease. The tendency to illness appears to be an aspect of the earth dynamic, as is healing. They are the two sides of the same coin.

(Strangely, I picked this book up on my birthday Wednesday and thought about it most of my drive home on Friday.)


Crash

The main road leading to my house is a good stretch of road in the country that’s perfect for reflection. Driving home on Friday, I left the music off to enjoy the quietness of the country road. Then I lost control of my steering on a slick of ice. I gripped my wheel, I regained control and slammed into an Expedition driving in the opposing lane. I spun out and my car landed front first into a ditch. It was pitch black, my air bags all went off and I couldn’t see anything. My legs were stuck. It felt very deja vu. I started shrieking so loud I could hear my voice echoing off trees. I was screaming for help, I was screaming if the other people were hurt. A woman shouted that she was that driver and she was fine but her car wasn’t. I didn’t have it in me to be polite to her tone, I was convinced my legs were broken or even missing at this point. The only person who rushed over to help me was the man who lived across from where I had crashed. He yelled at me to calm down, asked me if I was fucked up because my car did smell like weed (I was sober) and then held my hand until the ambulance came. 

I sat in the ambulance in amazement that I wasn’t missing a limb or gushing blood. Everything hurt on my left side, but I miraculously wasn’t injured. I was still sobbing, trying to climb out to give insurance information to the other driver. The paramedics were young and baby faced. When a state trooper came in to talk to me, I felt a sense of relief to talk to someone who might be more helpful. I explained that I hit a slick of ice. He wrinkled his brows. I stood up to show him the ice, and explained how I thought I spun out and landed in the ditch.  He held the same stare. That’s when I went from being cared after to being treated like a second class citizen.

I won’t get into too many of the details, but I spent about 3 hours with this trooper doing the DUI tests, the “state of the art” drug evaluation test at the station, having my blood drawn at the hospital and finally being driven home and handed back my license. 

My car that I was trying to reverse out at the time? I viewed it the next day at the tow yard. It shook me up. There’s not a front half to the car. It’s fried. There was not much material between what was left of the car and my body. We drove by where the accident happened and there are multiple crosses where others have died. I wallow about it a bit, but have overall felt stronger. I can handle the bruises and bills. 

Know your rights when dealing with law enforcement. More on this later.

Know your rights when dealing with law enforcement. More on this later.

Lunch break. Tacos from my birthday taco bar. 

Lunch break. Tacos from my birthday taco bar. 

Vintage maps and field guides included in the new space. I’m looking forward to spending my first week without a job learning how to clam, spot whales, and use a wood stove. 

Vintage maps and field guides included in the new space. I’m looking forward to spending my first week without a job learning how to clam, spot whales, and use a wood stove. 

Serious drawing desk at the cabin I’m moving into on Saturday. (I’ll update some day, promise.)

Serious drawing desk at the cabin I’m moving into on Saturday. (I’ll update some day, promise.)

Gatorland

Gatorland

Whoa, chonga cousin is a juggalette? 

Whoa, chonga cousin is a juggalette?