I think most mothers collect knick-knacks ranging from the Old Hollywood theme to farm animals. My mom collects skulls, ravens, gargoyles, and anything else most people would find to be morbid. You would think that when she’s at PartyCity buying a skull candle that it would be for Halloween. Nope. She looks for this stuff on the daily. If anyone expresses an interest in her collection, she lights up. She gives a tour like she’s Jackie O giving a tour of the White House, holding up items and saying, “Isn’t he beautiful?” The other day I found that she had bought this cookie jar:

So here. Here’s a mini tour of the weird & wacky stuff my mom owns.

This is a lamp:

This is another lamp:

“I can’t find the DVD remote!” Oh phew, the claw has it

Why have a bouquet of colorful roses, when instead you could have a bunch of black roses?

This is her raven. It’s her second favorite item.

This is her #1 favorite item. His name is Gaston. He’s holding m&m’s right now, but typically he holds my keys so I don’t lose them.

One morning, mom called me shrieking about how on Good Morning America they showed a beer bottle with a gargoyle on the front. We spent two months trying to find the beer, Arrogant Bastard. She told me she desperately needed this beer for her china cabinet. Do you know what it was like to take a little Cuban lady to a bunch of liquor stores where she described the beer and repeated the name, “Arrogant bastard” to the sales staff? One guy looked puzzled, thinking my mom had cursed him out. I had to slowly move her away, and explain that she was looking for a particular beer. Finally, we found out that it’s not sold in Florida. She ordered three cases, two glasses, and a poster. Note that my mom doesn’t drink.

She hasn’t seen 300, but she likes how “bad ass” the poster for it is. This hangs near the front door:

He guards the front door:

Why have normal sconces when you could have a dragon hold your candles?

Want some candy?

That’s just a small glimpse.